New year’s day

Somebody tell me why I’m happy.
Let me try.
I haven’t slept enough to get anything in perspective.
I’ve had enough coffee to not feel sleepy.
VH1 is playing big rockers in 05, and everything in my head is singing along.
I had fun, more than I have in a while, and I did nothing special.
I did things my way, and it worked out perfect.
I saw everything I’ve done and everything I’ve become, and it’s just the way it should be.
Did I mention that vh1 still hasnt played a single song I dont love?
and every song takes me back to somewhere in the past year.
Everyone else is happy, or pretending to be, at least.

But this isn’t a new beginning.
This isn’t the end of anything.
This is just a moment to look at things, again. … as if they were the way they were meant to be.
and the world still looks different.
When one hour of sleep and two cups of coffee makes me as happy as I’ve ever been.
With a little contribution from the fact that they’re now playing Green Day – Holiday.

Fleeting feelings

It rained again. probably for the last time.

To be deprived of the privilege to think too much can feel so nice.
To live in the moment, they always say you should.
To sing on the street in pouring rain accompanied by sunshine.
To sing a song, when the words have no meaning.
and it can all look so beautiful.
The sun hides briefly behind a small white cloud, illuminating its outline.
To not try to look through the chaos makes it seem more than transparent.
To not try to search in it for meaning, symmetry, or conclusions.
When everything can either be totally fucking awesome, or worth nothing at all.
and everything is totally fucking awesome.
To live in the moment, lasts only for a moment.
Only an intermission
and all of it that’s captured by memory is meaningless.