“A nice form of pseudo-solitude is a walk in really heavy rain.
When you cant see more that a few meters ahead, theres too much water
in the way. And no one can hear a sound you make, the rain is much louder.
It surrounds you like a semi transparent wall seperating you from
everyone else, following you wherever you go. That’s exactly what I
was thinking on the 26th of july, while staring out of a car window,
on the way to college. I also wondered for a brief moment, at a signal,
how so much water can fall from the sky without filling the world.
(yes the thought was as childish as it sounds). Nevertheless, God
loves to prove me right.”
written on the 26th of August 2005 in a mail.

As I was half way through writing that mail, I went back to my inbox and lost all that I’d written so far. I wrote the mail again. Ironically, my first post was also from that mail.

Fleeting feelings

It rained again. probably for the last time.

To be deprived of the privilege to think too much can feel so nice.
To live in the moment, they always say you should.
To sing on the street in pouring rain accompanied by sunshine.
To sing a song, when the words have no meaning.
and it can all look so beautiful.
The sun hides briefly behind a small white cloud, illuminating its outline.
To not try to look through the chaos makes it seem more than transparent.
To not try to search in it for meaning, symmetry, or conclusions.
When everything can either be totally fucking awesome, or worth nothing at all.
and everything is totally fucking awesome.
To live in the moment, lasts only for a moment.
Only an intermission
and all of it that’s captured by memory is meaningless.