Half

I decided around the start of this month that I would write a blog post a day. I did pretty well for the first half of the month and then I stopped. My reasons for stopping are quite simple. I stopped because I didn’t feel the need to blog as much anymore and each blog post gave me less personal gratification than the one before. I stopped because I didn’t see a point in writing more blog posts like the ones I’ve been writing all along. It would help to write differently but that takes a lot more time and effort than I can give everyday. I’m just not one to stick to resolutions.

This can raise a lot of questions. Am I one of those people who never completes things? When I look back I can see a lot of things that I started with a whole lot of zest and then abandoned halfway to start something new, again with a whole lot of zest. It’s not that I never complete anything, but maybe it is that I abandon things too soon. Will I leave too many good things incomplete? At the end of it all, will I have followed enough things through till their end? And then there’s the more difficult questions, such as, “is it important to have completed things or do two half experiences count just as much as one whole?” and “does any of it even matter at all?”

Maybe you can help me answer these questions because I can’t seem to be able to search for any answers tonight. I know that however long I carry this thought this blog post will still be incomplete. Every story ever told is incomplete, and most are distorted when told without the context of the whole. We are all incomplete people living incomplete lives. So is completion just an illusion that can only be achieved when we construct boundaries for ourselves? Because tasks, resolutions and goals are all limits which we define which certainly aren’t the most we can do. 

12-Apr-2009

I am your lack of creativity.

I am everything that has filled the cavities in your mind created by years of education, daily routine and passive entertainment.

I am that bitter taste in your head that gets stronger as you grow older, telling you that something’s not right.

I am the time you spend at traffic signals, queues, elevators and crowded trains.

I scrub out the differences between everyone you see around you. I am the passivity of your actions.

I am the callousness and ignorance created by your wisdom.

I am the mediocrity of your efforts.

I am the rules that you live by and the barriers in your mind.

I am the satisfaction in your second hand experiences.

I am your fear and self doubt.

I am your lack of creativity.

And I am getting stronger.